Frustration seems to be the mood of the day for me.
Nevermind the fact that today my father turned 50, and I have not spoken to him in about 6 months. That's a whole 'nother story, for a whole 'nother day/blog entry. Suffice it to say that we got into an argument about me wanting him in my life & my girls' lives more and he has not spoken to me since, citing his lack of time as one of many excuses. Granted, I did tell him he was a crappy parent but that's how I have been feeling, and rather than try to resolve it with me (I have called, texted, emailed and even sent snail mail.. all ignored) he walked away. Ugh.
Ok, ok, back to my matter at hand.
First off let me say that I KNOW we are blessed, and I do KNOW that there are others out there who are way worse off than we are. I KNOW this. But knowing this does not kill the feelings of frustration that are bubbling up inside of me.
We are taxpayers. We are responsible parents who do whatever we can for our kids. Up till 2 years ago we had no negative marks on our credit report whatsoever. None. Which means, obviously, that prior to that time in our life we had always paid all our bills on time and had relatively little debt. Fast forward past Madi's many hospitalizations, surgeries, the birth of Sydney, and many, MANY late paychecks and here we are. So today I called my credit card company to see what kind of options they could give me-like lowering my interest rate so the minimum payments will be handleable (is that even a word? I don't think so.. ) till things get better paycheck-wise. You know what they said? "You don't make enough money to qualify for one of our debt-relief programs." What? Did I hear that right? You have to make a large amount of money to be put into a program to help relieve your debt? Seems a bit counter-productive to me. It's just making this whole situation into a vicious cycle that's gonna come back and bite me in the butt. It's not like we are so buried in debt that we need to file bankruptcy. We just need to get a leg up.. or even a toe. I am going back to the drawing board to figure out some ways to cut costs and stretch our money further, so if you have any ideas, I am welcome to hear them. Whilst I do that, I am gonna keep my eyes peeled for that ever-elusive money tree. Or maybe my mom will win the Powerball. Hey, a girl can hope, can't she?