Friday, August 31, 2012

Blogs and junk food: the new psychologist?

In the name of full disclosure, I am warning you all right now that this is going to be a whiny post.  I am in one of "those" moods today, and I need to get it out.  Writing has always been my therapy, and now that I have a blog, you all get to see inside my mind.  Aren't you lucky?
Today, I am tired.  Bone-weary, exhausted, worn out, drained.  I have been feeling lately that I cannot catch a break.  I know, in that oft-hiding logical part of my brain, that I am indeed very lucky.  But today my emotional levee has broken, and out comes the flood of frustration.
You know that old saying about the straw that broke the camel's back?  Just about 20 minutes ago, that happened to me.  The ridiculous part is that said straw is something miniscule, something that (hopefully!) will be easily fixed.  It was just the final insult my brain can take this week.
On top of the usual financial woes and the rollercoaster ride we call parenting, this week has been particularly crazy.  Madi has been off-the-wall hyper and disobedient.  To be fair, she has been cooped up much of the summer, as the weather has not been nice enough for her to be outside.  I think she's ready for school.  And frankly, so am I.  For her to be in school, that is.  If we finally get everything all squared away for her to go, anyway.  Yes, my child was the only one forgotten when doing up the transportation for this year.  And it was just noticed on Wednesday at the open house, leaving no time whatsoever to get it fixed in time for the first day on Tuesday.  Why they need a few weeks' notice, I don't know, but I was not in the right frame of mind to be asking questions.  There were what seemed like gazillions of children running rampant in the school that night.  A school with no air conditioning, and all the parents and children and staff all together equals chaos.  Hot, sticky, sweaty, chaos.  So I left my contact information with a promise of a follow-up phone call the next day.  I got that, from Madi's case manager.  She's very very nice and I know none of this is her fault.  Quite frankly I feel bad for her too.  I am sure the woman doesn't get paid nearly what she's worth and she has to deal with transportation snafus too?  Yeesh.  So I call to check in today and they told me that somewhere along the line the ball was dropped (DUH!) and that they hope to have it all squared away next week.
Normally, such a situation would not bother me so much.  But it's seeming more and more lately like I can't get anything done in a straightforward manner.  My brain is crying from all the fixing it has had to do lately.
And then the family drama.. oy vey.. we won't go there but let's just say that my very large family has dwindled to very few.  By their own choice-since they think I am the devil for standing up for what I believe in. Leaving me feeling somewhat alone and support-less as compared to where things used to be. But that's another mess of its own that doesn't deserve my brainpower at the moment.
So yes.  I am whining.  And I am having a pity party for myself.  I am, at the moment, one of those "Why can't anything go easily for me" people.  Now I never said that I liked to be that kind of a person but let's face it, people: sometimes we all need to pout and grumble.
I have a plan in place, though.  Tomorrow, I am going with my best friend to the state fair.  I plan to drown my sorrows in plenty of fried foods-on-a-stick.  Calories be damned!  Between my blog vent here, and the overload of junk food tomorrow, I am going to be just fine.
I can smell the cheese curds now.  Smells like therapy.

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